I bet you’ll never guess either of these two. $100 Contest for everyone! Bonus: Hilariously Funny Must-Read Life Lesson at the end!
WARNING: 100% of this article was written by a HUMAN. You may find grammar, typos, and other sexy things in here that an AI would of not let pass. This is Day 1 of a 30-day post-every-day sprint, so please don’t forget to follow me. Read time ~ 5-8 Minutes
Typically, Consumer Packaged Goods (CPG) are your everyday items.
However, for grins & giggles, I’m going to share the largest Consumer Package Goods I’ve worked with. Which dovetails off of the Marketing Funnels post I just wrote & allows me to reveal the weirdest Omni-Channel & Omni-Medium Marketing Funnel I used to run & grow a business on autopilot…this was in the year 2000, but you can still use it today.
I bet you will never guess this CPG.
I’ll give you a couple of hints:
1) Size: the ones I bought & sold were 14 feet wide and 70 feet long
2) On the scale of importance after Breathing, there are only two more important items to Humans for survival.
Got any guesses?
Ok, number one on the survivalist’s checklist is WATER. Without it, you could barely last 3 days.
I bet you have number two. And no, sweetheart, it is not your make-up and curling iron. Even that fancy gas-powered one that doesn’t require electricity. LOL!
Yep, number two is FOOD. And if you’ve ever watched Naked and Afraid 😱, some of the things they eat on there totally make you cringe. I’m pretty certain I would just try to make it to the end without eating any of that stuff. To be honest, I think I’d rather eat tree bark than any of that stuff.
So, what do you think number three might be?
Yep, you got it. It is SHELTER. And I’m not talking about a few sticks strapped together with vines that let all the mosquitoes in late at night and eat you alive, like they do on Naked and Afraid. Ouch!
Honestly, I would likely opt out of the competition on night number one, just because I can’t handle mosquitoes.
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All right, back to the great reveal.
The largest Consumer Packaged Goods ( CPG) I’ve built a Marketing Funnel for is a home. A single-family, single-wide mobile home.
What? You’re probably thinking that’s not a CPG.
I beg to differ. They absolutely are! They come wrapped in plastic, just like half of the CPG stuff on Amazon, when they are delivered to you brand new.
SIDENOTE: I do have a kind of life lesson to share at the end of this post that has to do with this. So, please keep reading to the end. It’s totally worth it, and you’ll likely get a HUGE laugh out of it.
I’ve been inside a few of these Mobile Homes while they were under construction. It was actually the double-wide kind built in two halves.
I was at the Great Western Homes plant in Stayton, Oregon. It’s an amazing facility.
Imagine a factory the size of two football fields put together. The best I recall, 2003ish, there are about 30 or so of these half-of-a-home being built all at once. They are all on wheels. They go to one station, and 3 to 4 people jump inside them and do their specific piece of work inside the home.
It was kind of crazy….imagine these are moving…stop in one place…and then there is a mad scramble to jump in…get your work done…and jump out. I don’t remember exactly how much time it was at my station, but I think like 5-10 minutes.
My team was the water heater plumbers & electricians.
I was jumping in with them when they were putting the water heater inside the home, so the home was pretty far along and probably 80% finished. They connect it and since my new weird appliance above the water heater in this 24″ x 24″ x 7″ closet is a total new (pain in the ass) issue they had to learn to deal with it during this 5-10 minute game of musical homes.
I’ve got safety glasses on and earmuff-like ear protection on. A dust mask.
It’s pitch black inside, and so loud, you can’t hear anything specific. Saws and drills, and hammers are all going off at the same time, all around you. Fiberglass insulation is falling down on your head.
It’s so dusty that you’re being choked, even with a dust mask, dust gets in. You feel itchy all over, hot, stressed, and scared that something might fall on your head from the guys running around above you.
This kind of had the feeling of Mission: Impossible.
My new team’s job was already hard, and I just made it even more difficult. So, I’m sure these guys were not in love with the idea, but we made it happen.
I was an Energy Engineer working with the Department of Energy (DOE).
This was an Energy Conservation Program that was going to develop into Federal Rebates. But we had to prove 1) they saved energy, 2) they dried the air from all that moisture and 3) there was little to no difficulty having consumers embrace the technology, 4) no additional impact to the homeowner.
These were a brand-new appliance technology. They were called Exhaust Air Heat Pump Water Heaters.
These new mobile homes are built so tightly for Energy Star Rating Efficiency (meaning they are airtight). Because of this, you now have a problem where the moisture from your perspiration, expiration (breathing out), showers, cooking, etc. The moisture builds up inside the home and becomes a problem. Basically, all that moisture can build up and cause mold, and we don’t want that.
So this little device is a very compact, small air conditioner-type appliance that is mounted above the water heater inside this 24″ x 24″ x 7′ closet.
On top of the EAHP is one small duct, kind of like what’s on a clothes dryer. And on the sides are two copper fittings for water-in and water-out of the hot water tank. The front of it has a filter for the air flow into the unit. The air flows out of the unit up through the ceiling.
They are connected to a timer for the whole house air exhaust & set to go off several times of day with extended times during the typical wake-time hours of the homeowners.
The secret to the technology is that the EAHP takes the heat out of the moist air and then puts that heat inside the water heater. Then it dumps that stale, colder air outside.
By running as the whole house exhaust fan, it creates a vacuum in the house that brings fresh air into the home through vents built into the home.
So, for the DOE Energy Star Project, my job was to hook up testing equipment to 30 different homes that had these EAHPs. Then determine how much energy was saved for each of them.
Long story short, they worked great, and the DOE had a rebate program for them.
I’m not sure what came of the program or how many homes ended up with these in them. But I met a lot I really wonderful people.
So, to dovetail on the Marketing Funnel Article before, I’m going to share the weirdest omnichannel marketing funnel I’ve ever used.
If you’ve used exactly this Marketing Funnel and can prove it, I will Zelle or PayPal you $100. So, this is a contest with $100 on the line for YOU! 🤑 🏆
This is it! The Weirdest Omni-Channel Marketing Funnel that I have used. Well, before Omni-Channel was even a thing.
THE mobile home buyer prospect funnel mapped out:
Classified Ad in Penny Saver —> 800# 24/7 voicemail message —> VM sells home reveals address sends prospect to home address —> flyer at home sells seller financed program & qualifies prospect —> prospect calls another 24/7 VM to get open house information —> all prospects show up qualified to house at same the time & day —> buyer frenzy ensues and the first person to put money down & sign seller financed promissory note wins.
EFFECTIVE? Holy crap Yes!!!
Omni-Channel / Omni-Media ✔️
If you’ve done exactly this, send me a DM to collect your $100 prize.
Here’s the bonus Life Lesson that was the spark that lit the flame of passion for creating this post for You.
LIFE LESSON: Learn to laugh at yourself & your circumstances…especially when they are terrible. Like hot, sweaty, itchy, scared, choking on dust, who couldn’t hear himself scream or see his hands in front of his face, ME. I got out of that Mobile Home Plant and laughed soooo hard in the parking lot. 🤣
If you found this fun & a blessing to read, please like & share with a friend. I’m just getting started, so please be patient. I am certain I will share with you Golden Nuggets of Hard-Earned Life & Business Wisdom that will bless you.
If this opened your mind up to the possibilities of how funnels can be used across multiple channels and mediums, please give me a comment below on how you might use something like this in a different way than you’ve never thought of before in your business or job.
And if you think this is cool enough to share with your friends, family, and dearly loved ones, please share/repost it.
Thank you for the opportunity to serve you!
Sincerely,
Dan Wisdom
Ⓒ 2025 – All rights reserved – Kickass Marketer LLC
